Where The Fishes Go

from by John Ludington

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Written about Taunton State Hospital in Massachusetts as it was being torn down.


I was sixteen when my folks sent me to Taunton, put me on a coach and put hope in that new institution. They called it a Kirkbride, a break in medical science. Beautiful on the outside. I spent my youth feeling trapped, breathing fast. At night by lamplight my mother’s sad face would go black. They were all convinced, declared me lunatic. And I have been ever since. My first ride on a coach, I was silent. The gibbous moon followed me all the way to the asylum. A magnificent palace. Thought I’d found solace. Three orderlies ushered me in. I still woke nights in panic. Madmen howl when drugs run dry. Room 14, 3rd floor, west wing. Not sure how long I’ve been here. I lurked these walls while they rotted. Watched the dome and cupola fall. And I won’t tell how the fire started
I’m just glad you’ve come for us all. Just in time, I knew someone would walk with me. Will you light my cigarettes and keep talking? Yeah, I know who you are, you walk free with the living. Now that daylight is pouring in I can tell the difference. Do you see us while taking our hospital down? With this hoard, to the woods behind Taunton State grounds. Curse this place and my misdiagnosis. I wish I were sober, I’d show you I’m sane. There’s a kid in a car being followed by Luna. Hell if I know where the fishes go when they wiggle off in the mire. Whispered: Yes, I know who you are. Room 14 with the thorazine. Tell me about your whores. Is is Renee and Geanene? Do you do them together or do they live a lie? Not again, not the rubber room. I swear I wont fight. Fuck this place and your misdiagnosis…


from Finn, released January 7, 2012
John Ludington - acoustic guitar, vocals, whispers

Andrea Zvaleko - backup vocals

Justino Perez - cello

construction sounds from the H St construction site in Arcata, CA



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